Donna's Terse, Unimpressed Replies
by tkelparis
Summary: Spaceman wrote Donna three times. What were her answers? Companion piece to bas math girl's "Love Letters... Almost... Hopefully" and the second story in what's become a series.


**Disclaimer**: Would BMG and I have written these if we owned DW and its characters? Well... Maybe; they would've been canon in that case. *le sigh*

**Author's Note**: "Love Letters" was three letters written by the Doctor to Donna Noble. I read it and wanted to know what Donna wrote in response; it was clear that the second and third letters were answers to things Donna either said or wrote. BMG gave me the green light to write them, and my Muse got a flash of inspiration last night. Got the okay from BMG today, and so here are Donna's answers! (If you haven't read BMG's story, do so before going any further!)

Also, the **bolded underlined** parts are things Donna started to write, but tried to cover up. It's supposed to be strike-through, but FF.N doesn't support that font setting. :( Assume that the Doctor can read them anyway...

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><p>I.<p>

You Outer Space Prawn,

If you really were hiding behind the rubbish bins, and I've seen you hide behind some _weird_ things, then you definitely heard my frustration with you just fine. When a friend makes me that mad with thoughtless words, I need time to cool off! What part of that didn't you get? Frankly, Martian Boy, if you talked to any of your past companions like that, I'm surprised they didn't walk out on you for good! You're lucky I've lived so much more than they had and recognize what blokes males can be! And that seems to be true across species!

Are you completely incapable of writing in English? Do you even know how to speak English? Since I know about those translation circuit your ship has, I have to wonder now that I've got this proof of what a dunce you can be! If it weren't for your ship helping me with a translation book – with the smallest print I've ever seen, and I've done research in the driest books ever written on Earth! – I wouldn't know what the bloody hell you wrote!

Like my not being around would stop you from having a one-sided conversation with yourself! You like to talk so much that I can see you doing that quite a bit. Not that I'm not guilty of it sometimes, but that's beside the point. Don't you insult my intelligence and promises with false words!

From a very pissed off Earth Girl,

Donna

PS: By the by, if you ever want to impress a girl, you don't make comparisons with your exes. Word of advice from your friend. In fact, you don't mention them at all – at first.

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><p>II.<p>

You Absolutely Daft Spaceman,

Your apology would be easier to believe if you weren't continuing to be an absolute bloke about things! You assume that I'd be impressed with your various alien ways. There're just things about you that I roll my eyes over! Which makes me wonder how much you know about humans...

Oh, now you realize how annoying that was for me! Again, can you even write in English? I wonder if I should ask the TARDIS to shut off the translation circuits – but only for you. So you'd have to try to speak in human languages. I'd love to see you struggle for once!

Now, don't go getting your wires crossed, Doctor! I know damn well where your hearts lie, and it wouldn't be with someone like me. It's a case of "want the person you're with since you can't have who you want." Nothing more. A little extra time apart will prove that to you. So keep your hands to yourself! Don't you go about trying to break my heart like you did Martha's! These letters of yours could wreck havoc on a girl's mind if she's not careful!

Your Best Mate (and that's not a _mate_ mate, Sunshine!),

Donna

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><p>III.<p>

Doctor,

I can't believe you persist in this... this farce! It's what it has to be! You cannot possibly feel anything **roma** beyond friendship toward me! You said you just wanted a mate! You corrected me when I misheard you that night! And I saw your reaction when I picked up **Ro** the jacket when we met. You're just missing her too much. I get that; you've lost so much over your life. You're desperately craving a surrogate for what you really want! I'm just a convenient **body** person!

You should expect to get things thrown at you when you're trying to upset the woman you said would just be a mate! You're lucky I just threw a cup of tea! I've had a few fantasies of doing worse to some of the losers who've tricked me before. **At least they didn't try to worm their way in in a backhanded way!** And I don't know who you're talking about! Which her? On second thought, don't tell me! Maybe I'd rather not know about your past!

I've had my heart broken many times before Lance. Men who just wanted one thing from me, and dumped me once they got **into my** it. I've heard it all: I'm too plump, I'm ginger, I'm too loud, I'm not smart, I'm worthless... And that's just from my mother! Heard far worse thanks to friends who overheard those blokes talking about me. I'm just considered a slapper, and what man wants that? Which is why I sought you out; I thought I could trust you... I don't want to **become another Martha** be a problem for you, the only person who ever treated me (other than my dad and my granddad) like a person worth _anything_. So stop messing with my head!

Please have mercy on your friend...

Donna

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><p>Look for nipponiphile's "An Ongoing Correspondence" and another "Love Letters" from BMG as the direct sequels to this! :D<p> 


End file.
